The Gardener and the Carpenter What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children Read ↠ 109



10 thoughts on “The Gardener and the Carpenter What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children

  1. says:

    I bought this book because I loved this piece in the Wall Street Journal Unfortunately I think that piece boils down much of what is interesting in the book itself I find Gopnik's persona part enthusiastic grandmother part knowledgeable researcher very appealing so I never found the book difficult to read But it did feel in spite of its brevity a little meandering and somewhat meager in its central insights The analogy that gives the book its title parents need to be like gardeners creating sustaining environments for their children and enjoying them for their own development including its surprises rather than like carpenters who follow sets of rules to produce something according to a blueprint is the most vivid and helpful insight here There's a long section on play and how important play is for child development and for a number of other mammals as well This might surprise some readers but perhaps I am so convinced of this point already that aside from articulating clearly what play gives children theory of mind the ability to problem solve and to produce counterfactual possibilities this section of the book was not as much of a revelation Gopnik does point out that when we try to teach children things they learn less that they should be given open territory to explore in rather than have an adult trot out a map and that was extremely interesting particularly when she described some of the experiments her lab has run on this idea Another section on technology felt riddled with truisms we always worry about new technologies children are always early adopters we have no idea what that will mean for the future but usually some older technologies are retained alongside the new devices that dominate culture I like Gopnik and I wanted to love this book and I did love its endorsement of caring for children as a central part in giving life meaning and also of producing an ethical engagement to society that what seems like the selfish narrowness of caring for one child can in fact be drawn upon to foster social choices that support all children But again this sounds a bit platitudinous no? Mainly I think Gopnik is adding to the contemporary conversation about parenting by saying we should parent less be available And that feels helpful but it also feels like it's as far as this book really goes Oh wait But maybe the best bit is the part where she describes preschoolers' unfocused attention and explains that adult brains of psilocybin are closest to preschooler brains all the time


  2. says:

    In some ways this is a book that is best summarized by its title When we act as parents Dr Gopnik is telling us we should think of ourselves as gardeners than as carpenters The relevant difference is that the gardener is focused on growth but doesn't usually try to insure details such as exactly how many leaves grow on the plant or where just that there be about the right amount of leaves growing A carpenter on the other hand usually does a lot of rather precise measuring and cutting insuring a certain final outcome where all the pieces fit together Gopnik appears to be concerned that modern parenting she dislikes the verb by the way preferring the noun parent is becoming too similar to carpentry in its aspirations and not enough like gardeningThe devil is in the details though and that is why the book is worth reading even if you already know and in my case agree with the thesis suggested by the title Gopnik has spent decades now studying the mental processes of small children and how those change over the first few years of life She's also been a mother and a grandmother which may seem only to provide anecdotal information but which I think may serve as a useful reality check on her theorizing Unlike say Freud or Skinner her theories on child psychology pass the test of contact with realityGopnik is a person of strong opinions for example believing that much of the mess of childhood and the apparently purposeless play is not just an inevitable but a productive part of human psychology I believe it was Gopnik who I first heard voice the idea that children are society's RD department and that even if it were possible to teach them the right way to do things uickly than we do it would at least sometimes be unwise to This contributes to for example her dislike of the trend in modern schools of nixing unstructured play in recess time in favor of study of the topics likely to be covered in standardized testing But beyond opinions and even beyond her own research she is thoroughly familiar with everything that has been discovered about child psychology in the last few decades and she maintains a good mix of personal anecdote and reference to rigorously controlled scientific studyA larger uestion is why of that science doesn't find its way into how we raise and educate children today I suspect it is because a lot of what has been discovered would suggest that of our children's education should resemble apprenticeship or vocational training and that is exactly the opposite of what most of the education sector of our country has been pushing for As the percentage of the population who go on to 16 years or of schooling before doing real work goes up and the percentage of our economic and financial sector which is reliant on that goes up student loan debt is now bigger than credit card debt in the US any indication that we should be backpedaling on that in favor of education methods outside of the classroom and standardized tests is struggling against some pretty big industries and their lobbyists It will probably take a student loan crisis on the level of the 2008 mortgage crisis to cause any serious reappraisal of the goals and methods of education in this countryHowever just because you can't change the way the nation educates its children doesn't mean you can't tweak how you educate your own child or what you look for when choosing others to help do it Whether the topic is play vs study how worried we should be about electronic devices and social media or how to deal with adolescents being the way they are she helps us to bring the immense amount of scientific study in the last few decades to us in a way that we can understand and apply


  3. says:

    I heard a great interview with this author about the difference between parenting and being a parent I mean think about it Do I wife my husband or daughter my parents? What would that even look like? I'm not trying to change them The book mostly hits the emphasis on child psychology with kind of a little what parents can do tacked on the end which is okay but I kept hoping for link between theory and practice for individuals and communities There is a nice chapter in the end where she talks about other policy implications beyond child care but the connections to the science are there rather loose Anyway I usually like hearing about the personal lives of the scientists but there was a little too much Berkley here to keep my eyes from rolling little Augie I could stop there enjoying vegan frozen yogurt at the farmers market and to keep me from wondering how we apply these lessons to lower income or even just not elite families? For many kids overscheduling would be a laugh when parents can't even afford piano lessons and techno fear is less about what iPhones are doing to kids' minds and about whether their kid can survive school without one It's not that Gopnik doesn't ever mention other types of families but that she seems to acknowledge them in the abstract and from afar the anthropologist's perspective rather than the neighbor and friend's


  4. says:

    Exceptionally lucid and humane overview of a vast amount of scientific research on learning and cognitive development The subtitle and cover are a bit of a misdirection this is not a gauzy parenting how to book Instead it's a thought provoking richly detailed and well written exploration of how we learn by imitating by listening by playing and how learning changes in schools not usually for the better and is changed by technology not so much for the worse as you might think The implications for parents are there and the final chapter attempts to tie the preceding chapters together with an elegiac meditation on parenting For me though the meatier earlier chapters were the real revelation delivering without being too heavy handed the message of the title As parents and caregivers we should seek to nurture our young and accept they'll be different from our imagined progeny; we should not think our job is to build replicas of ourselves guided by our or society's blueprint


  5. says:

    Written with authority by an academic UC Berkeley and grandmother but does not read at all like an academic writing It was a joy to read She writes about such things as tip toeing through her dark garden hand in hand with her grandson so as to not awaken the tiger in the avocado tree She explains child development and the need to let children develop in their own ways rather than trying to shape them into a parent's vision of who they should be Confirmed my experience with our 2 year old grandson and gave me insights to my own development in childhood Highly recommend this book to all parents grand parents and other relatives of children as well as anyone who teaches or works with children Informative and fun to read


  6. says:

    The premise of this book can be distilled from its title which makes it a great title there are two parenting styles the gardener who gives kids fertilizer space and a reason to grow and lets them do it and the carpenter who exactly measures every facet of the kid's life with the intention of making himher grow up a certain way I already fell into the gardener space before reading this book but the argument presented in the book helped steady me in my choice Only through play experimentation trial error and messiness will a person grow into who they are My job as a parent isn't to fit my child to my measurements or anyone else's; my job is to give them the tools time and space to find their own measurements and grow into them


  7. says:

    Given the author has written a ground breaking book like 'The Scientist in the Crib' I had high expectations of 'the gardener and the carpenter' Unfortunately I felt disappointed throughout the book It was a mishmash of the author's personal experiences with her grandson Augie some research that she has done and some references to other studies The Book meandered through a meadow of ideas without building up on any particular one The main theme she explores is a powerful one but that can be addressed well enough in an article rather than a book It is one of those books that would have been better as an article


  8. says:

    This was a fairly uick read that packed in a lot of depth The central premise of the book is that parenting as a verb as an act of trying to produce a certain type of adult is a endeavor that does not work well and makes us less happy Instead we should think of being a parent as providing an environment where the uniue relationship between children and those who care for them parents or otherwise can help them learn about and explore the worldHumans have a long period of childhood relative to most animals This childhood provides a chance for a long period of exploration learning and variability Parents transmit their cultural and technological knowledge to children and children take that and shape their knowledge so that eventually they can shape the world themselvesHowever learning generally does not happen through the intentional education that we provide when we set out to provide enriching experiences to our children It does not come from flash cards educational videos tutoring or any of the many other aids that we provide to help train children how to perform well on tests Instead children learn most effectively through observation and conversation Children imitate adults in very intentional ways They do not merely copy behavior Instead even from an early age children work on inferring the goal and knowledge level of the person they are watching and will explore and vary their imitation to try to accomplish the goal effectively Children also ask uestions uite intentionally When children form endless chains of whys the uestions generally work to strengthen their ability to predict how the world works 'Children learn best through play That does not mean that unstructured environments are the best for learning although they are likely better than overly structured environments Rather what works best is when adults provide scaffolding rich environments which trigger curiosity about interesting topics pointers for when children want to learn and perhaps most importantly a playmate Play is delicate though As soon as play starts to feel reuired or like work it will stop being play and learning will grind to a haltYoung children are focused on the broad messy process of exploration As children get older they work on developing their ability to exploit the knowledge they have Older children work on refining the skills they have until they can perform them with ease Older children are sober and reliable in many ways than teenagers During the teenage years the brain once again prioritizes exploration this time exploration into the world of independence It is commonly believed that the teenage brain is uite immature and as a conseuence that perhaps we should give teens less rights and responsibilities until they are older However this model is wrong in a small but important way The teenage brain is immature but the prefrontal cortex control that will make a teenage brain into a sober adult brain does not develop at a certain age It develops through use Thus instead of giving teens less responsibility and then throwing them out into the world as adults we should be giving them responsibility sooner but in an environment where the conseuences of their actions ramp up slowlyParents are often concerned about the affect of technology on children Gopnik points out that as much as we are seeing change now past technologies like reading trains and telegraphs caused at least as much societal change as the internet Yet now we barely think of these as technologies any Technology is disorienting when it is introduced to adults because we no longer explore playfully partially because our brains are less plastic but also because we do not let ourselves Our children will develop new techniues and new norms for dealing with technology This does not mean that technology doesn't have an impact Written text fast travel and instant communication have changed the course of human existence and not always for the better New technologies such as the internet continue to do so However what we do not need to worry about is that our children will be adrift on the technologies of today They will see them as natural As an aside one of the interesting things about reading is that readers have significant portions of their brain that are specialized for reading This is despite the fact that reading has happened much recently than could have been accounted for by biological evolution The reading brain co opted processing centers such as visual centers which detect edges to become so efficient that reading is both fluid and involuntary The mind is incredibly adaptableGopnik ends on a chapter about how we value children Having a child is choosing to take part in a special relationship that will change a person forever Parents in a very real well do not just consider their children's interests as important as their own Parents seem to literally treat the interests of their young children as their own interests Yet raising children also has traditionally been a community task Care takers throughout a community have had roles in making sure that children have both the material and social resources they need to thrive This is something we have lost in our industrial and postindustrial society Figuring out how to modernize this sort of community care which is not based in generics but in specific relationships is a pressing problem of our time Gopnik also points out that taking care of parents as they age is a similar problem As a society we tend to treat it as a problem each family needs to solve individually but we could structure our society to value care taking and provide better support for care takersAnyone who cares about children whether or not they have or plan to have their own should read this book


  9. says:

    'The Gardener and the Carpenter’ should have been a long blogpost I’m reminded why I dislike most non fiction so much every essay is being dragged out to 250 pages because then it can be sold as a full book I’d be happy to buy these books for the same price if they’re shorter — but I get annoyed when filler is wasting my timeI bought this book after reading 'Meet the parenting expert who thinks parenting is a terrible invention’ from The Correspondent — which appealed to me Parents shouldn’t try so hard to mould the perfect child but provide a safe space in which the child can grow up and explore and make mistakes This also matches how my parents raised me And that article gripped me in a way the book never didThe book’s amazing message is clear from the intro but then Gopnik goes into metaphors about dieting and the Lyme disease and examples about cavemen fighting mammoths New Caledonian crows or the Ju‘hoansi people And when Gopnik compares babies to vole field mouses there’s a feeling of cult that reminds me of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life who compares humans to lobsters But better authors pull of tricks Gopnik can’t In one page she goes from mentioning that monkeys are able to identify T’s to using a uote from Socrates to prove her point Unlike better books Gopnik’s message isn’t holistic and doesn’t fully convince me and difficult topics are often concluded with “Science still has a lot to discover” In a chapter about technology Gopnik tries to be a Yuval Noah Harari but makes a poor futurologist Calling young people ‘digital natives’ is enough to trigger my bullshit meter And people don’t talk to the whole world on the web — far fromNeither do her one liners strike me as true “We don’t care for children because we love them we care for children because we love them”On the upside the chapter on teenagers is great — and the overall message deserves being heard But it should have just been a blogpost or at most an essay


  10. says:

    Things I love about this book The scientific research and studies she presents The research on play backs up the philosophies of RIE parenting Magda Gerber Giving kids lots of free and independent play time fosters creativity and investigation Children are little scientists and they have surprisingly sophisticated methods for figuring out the world Loved learning about how children learn The way she breaks down the traditional parenting model I've read uite a few books on parenting and raising children and there is a plethora of contrary advice out there I love the way Gopnik explores how children are not blank slates to be molded the way parents wish but individuals who need consistency and security to grow and interact with their environment Her thoughts on screen time She had a fresh perspective on screens and technology that I hadn't heard before Things I hated Her conclusions about public policy I get that she's a scientist and she is looking at society as a whole but forcing everyone to pay for public daycare and elderly care is not a solution In the final chapters she is basically advocating for socialism It would be better if she stuck to psychology and left economics to economists Her nihilistic view on human nature


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The Gardener and the Carpenter What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children

Read The Gardener and the Carpenter What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children

Adres es como cuidar un jardín La labor de los padres es la de procurar un medio fértil estable y seguro ue permita prosperar a muchas variedades de flores Crear un ecosistema vigoroso y flexible ue facilite ue los propio. Exceptionally lucid and humane overview of a vast amount of scientific research on learning and cognitive development The subtitle and cover are a bit of a misdirection this is not a gauzy parenting how to book Instead it's a thought provoking richly detailed and well written exploration of how we learn by imitating by listening by playing and how learning changes in schools not usually for the better and is changed by technology not so much for the worse as you might think The implications for parents are there and the final chapter attempts to tie the preceding chapters together with an elegiac meditation on parenting For me though the meatier earlier chapters were the real revelation delivering without being too heavy handed the message of the title As parents and caregivers we should seek to nurture our young and accept they'll be different from our imagined progeny; we should not think our job is to build replicas of ourselves guided by our or society's blueprint AMNESIQUES padres es la de Histoire du Moyen-Orient (Poches essais t. 266) procurar un medio fértil estable y seguro ue L'Islam pour les nuls permita La question de Palestine, tome 1 : 1799-1921 prosperar a muchas variedades de flores Crear un ecosistema vigoroso y flexible ue facilite ue los Les Femmes du prophète propio. Exceptionally lucid and humane overview of a vast amount of scientific research on learning and cognitive development The subtitle and cover are a bit of a misdirection this is not a gauzy PENSEE ARABE parenting how to book Instead it's a thought Le mois le plus long. Ramadan à Istanbul provoking richly detailed and well written exploration of how we learn by imitating by listening by Figures du Palestinien: Identité des origines, identité de devenir playing and how learning changes in schools not usually for the better and is changed by technology not so much for the worse as you might think The implications for Le Vent jaune : Récits parents are there and the final chapter attempts to tie the L'inconscient de l'islam preceding chapters together with an elegiac meditation on L'Expansion musulmane, VIIe-XIe siècles, 5e édition parenting For me though the meatier earlier chapters were the real revelation delivering without being too heavy handed the message of the title As L'Inconscient de l'islam parents and caregivers we should seek to nurture our young and accept they'll be different from our imagined Les Palestiniens dans le siècle progeny; we should not think our job is to build replicas of ourselves guided by our or society's blueprint

Read & Download È E-book, or Kindle E-pub Ü Alison Gopnik

S niños desarrollen muchos variados e impredecibles tipos de adultos futuros Se trata también de favorecer una relación humana específica un amor comprometido e incondicional entre un progenitor concreto y un hijo concret. 'The Gardener and the Carpenter’ should have been a long blogpost I’m reminded why I dislike most non fiction so much every essay is being dragged out to 250 pages because then it can be sold as a full book I’d be happy to buy these books for the same price if they’re shorter — but I get annoyed when filler is wasting my timeI bought this book after reading 'Meet the parenting expert who thinks parenting is a terrible invention’ from The Correspondent — which appealed to me Parents shouldn’t try so hard to mould the perfect child but provide a safe space in which the child can grow up and explore and make mistakes This also matches how my parents raised me And that article gripped me in a way the book never didThe book’s amazing message is clear from the intro but then Gopnik goes into metaphors about dieting and the Lyme disease and examples about cavemen fighting mammoths New Caledonian crows or the Ju‘hoansi people And when Gopnik compares babies to vole field mouses there’s a feeling of cult that reminds me of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life who compares humans to lobsters But better authors pull of tricks Gopnik can’t In one page she goes from mentioning that monkeys are able to identify T’s to using a uote from Socrates to prove her point Unlike better books Gopnik’s message isn’t holistic and doesn’t fully convince me and difficult topics are often concluded with “Science still has a lot to discover” In a chapter about technology Gopnik tries to be a Yuval Noah Harari but makes a poor futurologist Calling young people ‘digital natives’ is enough to trigger my bullshit meter And people don’t talk to the whole world on the web — far fromNeither do her one liners strike me as true “We don’t care for children because we love them we care for children because we love them”On the upside the chapter on teenagers is great — and the overall message deserves being heard But it should have just been a blogpost or at most an essay La question de Palestine, tome 1 : 1799-1921 progenitor concreto y un hijo concret. 'The Gardener and the Carpenter’ should have been a long blogpost I’m reminded why I dislike most non fiction so much every essay is being dragged out to 250 Les Femmes du prophète pages because then it can be sold as a full book I’d be happy to buy these books for the same PENSEE ARABE price if they’re shorter — but I get annoyed when filler is wasting my timeI bought this book after reading 'Meet the Le mois le plus long. Ramadan à Istanbul parenting expert who thinks Figures du Palestinien: Identité des origines, identité de devenir parenting is a terrible invention’ from The Correspondent — which appealed to me Parents shouldn’t try so hard to mould the Le Vent jaune : Récits perfect child but L'inconscient de l'islam provide a safe space in which the child can grow up and explore and make mistakes This also matches how my L'Expansion musulmane, VIIe-XIe siècles, 5e édition parents raised me And that article gripped me in a way the book never didThe book’s amazing message is clear from the intro but then Gopnik goes into metaphors about dieting and the Lyme disease and examples about cavemen fighting mammoths New Caledonian crows or the Ju‘hoansi L'Inconscient de l'islam people And when Gopnik compares babies to vole field mouses there’s a feeling of cult that reminds me of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life who compares humans to lobsters But better authors Les Palestiniens dans le siècle pull of tricks Gopnik can’t In one Le Gouvernement divin. Islam et conception politique du monde page she goes from mentioning that monkeys are able to identify T’s to using a uote from Socrates to Les Barbaresques (TEMPUS t. 220) prove her Sur la frontière point Unlike better books Gopnik’s message isn’t holistic and doesn’t fully convince me and difficult topics are often concluded with “Science still has a lot to discover” In a chapter about technology Gopnik tries to be a Yuval Noah Harari but makes a Palestine 47 : Un partage avorté poor futurologist Calling young MARIAGE DE LA PAIX people ‘digital natives’ is enough to trigger my bullshit meter And L'amour en Islam de l'enchantement à l'étouffement people don’t talk to the whole world on the web — far fromNeither do her one liners strike me as true “We don’t care for children because we love them we care for children because we love them”On the upside the chapter on teenagers is great — and the overall message deserves being heard But it should have just been a blogpost or at most an essay

Alison Gopnik Ü 9 Read

En contra de los modelos actuales de crianza ser padres no es una labor de carpintería no es un trabajo ue tenga como objetivo «tallar» a un niño para convertirlo en un modelo particular de adulto Por el contrario ser p. I bought this book because I loved this piece in the Wall Street Journal Unfortunately I think that piece boils down much of what is interesting in the book itself I find Gopnik's persona part enthusiastic grandmother part knowledgeable researcher very appealing so I never found the book difficult to read But it did feel in spite of its brevity a little meandering and somewhat meager in its central insights The analogy that gives the book its title parents need to be like gardeners creating sustaining environments for their children and enjoying them for their own development including its surprises rather than like carpenters who follow sets of rules to produce something according to a blueprint is the most vivid and helpful insight here There's a long section on play and how important play is for child development and for a number of other mammals as well This might surprise some readers but perhaps I am so convinced of this point already that aside from articulating clearly what play gives children theory of mind the ability to problem solve and to produce counterfactual possibilities this section of the book was not as much of a revelation Gopnik does point out that when we try to teach children things they learn less that they should be given open territory to explore in rather than have an adult trot out a map and that was extremely interesting particularly when she described some of the experiments her lab has run on this idea Another section on technology felt riddled with truisms we always worry about new technologies children are always early adopters we have no idea what that will mean for the future but usually some older technologies are retained alongside the new devices that dominate culture I like Gopnik and I wanted to love this book and I did love its endorsement of caring for children as a central part in giving life meaning and also of producing an ethical engagement to society that what seems like the selfish narrowness of caring for one child can in fact be drawn upon to foster social choices that support all children But again this sounds a bit platitudinous no Mainly I think Gopnik is adding to the contemporary conversation about parenting by saying we should parent less be available And that feels helpful but it also feels like it's as far as this book really goes Oh wait But maybe the best bit is the part where she describes preschoolers' unfocused attention and explains that adult brains of psilocybin are closest to preschooler brains all the time